“It’s been a long year I have spent my time alone. No friends, no family, no relatives, hmmm, all was suck. I don’t know how I could spend a lonely dark life like this. I don’t know why those people stay away from me. I asked God, why?
I used to have many friends, families, it seemed like everybody knew me. I was more than a celebrity. That Whitney Houston, Jagger, Madonna, Sylvester Stallone, you name it, they were all nothing. I was more than them. I had everything. I could get anything I want without any efforts.
Now, my life is turned over 180 degree. Rich to poor, famous to unknown, stunning to dirty. Why? I couldn’t even figure out who I am now. I am nothing. I’m just nothing.
I recalled the moment I was enjoying the world. I had been a wicked person. I didn’t care of anybody else. I didn’t even turn my eyes to those beggars on the streets who asked for even a cent. I regret what I have done. The whole things.
I wanted to change. I didn’t want to stay like this. I wanted to get up and have my ‘life’ again. I knew it’s not too late. I still had a chance. I’d heard that God gave people a second chance. I might be the one who get it. I mustn’t waste it.
I stood up and cleared my torn shirt from the dirty ashes. I went to a pool and cleaned my face and my body. I started to find for a job such as delivering newspaper, cleaning somebody’s pool or garden, and even sweeping the streets. I did whatever I can do. Though I should do that dirty job with a really low salary, it didn’t matter. At least, I didn’t bring that ‘unemployed’ label in me. You know, sometimes beggar looked better than me.
I knew, for the price that I should pay for the dark past I had made, I had to start from zero. However, I’m grateful to God that I could be somebody again,” Mr. Paul Sylvester ended his story.
I confessed that I was a terrible neighbor who always visited him every time I was down. Well, yeah, it always worked. He made me get better after listening to his story. He was such an amazing father, if he had a family. And I actually considered him as my own dad. I wonder how he could live without a family. Well, yeah. I know. I know he would answer that it’s God, the reason he could stand.
I believed that my pain was not as heavy as what had been experienced by Mr. Sylvester.I mean, besides the pain I already had. I only just broke up from my boyfriend and lost my wallet containing a hundred dollar. It was nothing compared to his. I should get up and not weep all the time inside my room. I believe God has a wonderful future for me.
“Cassandra!” Mom yelled for the third time because she didn’t have me in the basement right away after I answered her ‘yes’ to come.
“I’m coming, Mommy!” I answered her loudly as I ran down way to the basement.
I arranged my breath when I stepped into that dirty, stinky basement. Mom didn’t look at me at all. She was just moving things here and there and then she asked me to help her. No sooner said than done.
“I saw you went out from Mr. Sylvester’s house again this afternoon,” said Mom. She wiped an old photo frame full of dust with a napkin. “What’s the problem? Did you get yourself better?”
I nodded.
“I’m sorry, I was too busy with my job. Now I resigned,” her confession made me shocked.
“But why did you resign?” I stopped moving things and moved closer to her.
She remained silent. I looked up to her face, since I was still shorter than her.
“Why?” I repeated.
Tears burst out from her eyes.
I startled. I wonder what happened to her that she looked like feeling a deep pain. Was I a bad girl? Or she had something with Dad? Again? Well, since he moved out of the town and never came back, Mom always felt lonely. Sometimes I saw her talked by herself. Technically yes. But she might be talking to God at that moment. Whatever it was, for sure it was something which would be the least thing I would ever want to know. I didn’t want my Mom to feel sad.
“My boss oppressed me. I couldn’t stand with it anymore. I was treated like a slave. I’m sick of it,” she told me with heavy tears streaming down her cheeks as if I had not been her daughter but a friend.
“Mom,” I rubbed her back with my left hand and touched her shoulder with the right one. “I’m here to give a hand in everything. Always.”
She embraced me. Tightly. It felt like her pain was in me as well when I felt her heartbeat. I let her leaned on me until she felt okay.
The day passed. Another morning came. I should go to the campus again. Things would go as usual.
I always went from my house to campus by foot. Well, it was only a kilometer far. It could save my money anyway. I really wanted to buy a car for my mom, though Dad could afford a luxurious one by his prestigious job – only I don’t know what it was – but you know, it’s about pride, – since they were separated but not divorced – mom wanted to buy it by her own money, so that she didn’t have to catch a bus to go to her office again. Well, I meant, if she wanted to get another job. Besides, I wanted Mom to feel proud of me. Dad as well.
“Cassandra!” Jimmy called my name loudly from a distance. It made people around me glanced to me for a while. I just smiled wryly to them.
He came bringing a big headphone and an MP3 Player. “I need your help,” he said.
“I’m afraid I can’t. I want to help my mom to get a job,” I told him. I put my right palm on his shoulder. “You’re my best friend, but, sorry, bud.”
“Wait,” he prevented me to walk. “How about doing mutual symbiosis?”
I tilted my head; questioning what he meant.
“You help me, and I help you find a job for your mom,” he offered. “You know, my parents have sort of, great connections everywhere.”
I thought for a while. It might be a good offering. I didn’t need to worry about Mom anymore if she had a job. She could feel happy again.
“Deal,” I said. “So what is it?”
He smiled. “I like a girl –”
“Girl?” I interrupted. “Again?”
“You want to get your mom a job or not?” he threatened.
I closed my mouth. I listened to him.
“She is your classmate most of the time, Tanya, the Asian girl. I need you to make her closer to me,” he delivered his desire.
“How?”
“Do whatever I tell you. And this is the first,” he held out a starred envelope. “Give it to her.”
I chuckled as I saw it. “It looks like a five-year old boy’s letter,” I told him. “Honestly.”
He changed his smiling face to a sullen one.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll give it right away when I meet her, and you will get your desired love, Prince Charming.” I teased him with a naughty face.
He tickled me but I ran away from him.
“Hey, Cody said he wanted to meet you at the back park at 12!” he shouted.
I smiled and lifted a thumb to him then turned. I walked to my first class and would do what Jimmy told me. What a boy. He was about turning to be a man, not a boy anymore. Why did he act like an eighth-grader? Funny.
As I sat on my favorite seat – right corner-front, nearby the lecturer; I always liked it, didn’t know why – Tanya passed me by. I stopped her and gave her the envelope without saying anything, though actually she asked me who gave it. I acted nonchalantly. I thought I was a little bit out of my usual behavior.
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