I had no class at 12. I remained at the class while the other students were going out. I remembered what Jimmy said. Cody wanted to meet me. I couldn’t really decide if I wanted to meet him or not. He had been my boyfriend. I just broke up with him. Could you feel what I felt? Could you ever wanted to see the one whom you loved and just said good bye to him and then he wanted to see you again?
Oh God, I got a dilemma. What should I do? Oh no, oh no.
“Hey, you’re here,” somebody touched my shoulder.
I looked up and saw there – there was Cody standing in front of me.
“H-hi,” I gave him wry smile.
“I was about going to the back park but I found you here,” he uttered. He then sat on a seat next to me.
I nodded.
“Hey, Cass, why do you act like we have never met before?” he realized that I was feeling uneasy being nearby him.
“Of course, Cody. We just broke up,” I confessed. I turned my face to other direction.
How could he ask me such question?
“Cassandra, I’m sorry,” he said. The tone I heard was not a usual conversation tone, or joke tone, or teasing or whatever. It sounded like sadness.
I turned my face to him. “Hey,” I said. “Are you okay?”
He nodded. “It’s just.. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said.
I smiled. “Cody, it’s fine. I’m okay with my life. I know that my life’s wonderful. No matter with whom will I spend my lifetime,” I said wisely. “So are yours.”
He stroked my hair and smiled from ear to ear. “You’ll always be my girl,” he said.
I chuckled. “Come on. You already have a girlfriend, right? I don’t want to make her jealous when she sees us,” I teased him.
“How could I? I’m not an ordinary boy, you know. It’s not easy to forget a girl like you,” he said.
“So why did you break me up with no reason?” I glanced at him. “I’m kidding.” I couldn’t stay longer seeing him look guilty.
He stroked my hair again. “Cass, I heard about your mom,” he uttered.
“Jimmy?”
He nodded. “You look surprised. I thought it is the reason why you wanted to meet me at the back park,” he frowned.
“Oh, Jimmy,” I put my right palm on my forehead. “He told me that you’re the one who wanted to meet me. But he said in the contrary to you, didn’t he? I should have known about it.” I struck my fist to my palm.
He chuckled. “Cass, I know he doesn’t want to see us separated,” he told me.
“How could you know?”
“He is my best friend as well, remember?”
I nodded.
“By the way, he told me that I should help you. I mean, to find a job for your mom,” Cody changed the topic.
“Jimmy was the one who should help me,” I said. I shook my head. “I did him a favor, and he promised to do the same in return too.”
He chuckled again. “What can I do to help you?” he sounded as if he heard nothing about Jimmy’s annoying behavior. “I’d be glad.”
I shook my head. “Honestly, I have no idea,” I told him.
He remained silent for a while but then he flicked his fingers. “I’ll pick you up at your house this evening, at 5. I will take you to a place where we can find your mom a dream job according her skill,” he told me.
I nodded repeatedly. I knew that he could find a solution for many things. I was so glad that I could have been his girlfriend, though at that moment we became friends again.
I finished another class after that meeting with my ex. Well, honestly I felt up. He could always do that. Then I walked back home and greeted some of my neighbors when they were bathing their children in front of their garden. I didn’t know since when this culture showed up in this complex.
I laid my back on my bed. I felt a little bit tired that day. Wednesday was always the day of rapid and rush hour at the campus.
Usually, mom had not been home yet when she was still doing her previous job, but now she slept inside her room alone. She still looked depressed. I didn’t want to see her like that. I promised myself that I would make her smile broadly again. I closed my eyes and slept.
Knock, knock. I heard a sound from my room door. I opened my eyes. I always locked the door. I got up from my bed and walked to it still with glued-eyes.
I opened the door. “Mom?” I frowned.
“Ummm, your boyfriend, Cody,”
I startled. My eyes was opened wide instantly. I remembered I had an appointment with him!
“Mom, tell him I will meet him in five minutes,” I closed the door. But I remembered. “Thank you, Mom. “ I told her when she had not moved from the place she was standing and closed the door again.
I went into the bathroom and took a shower as quick as I could. Not more than three minutes I came out then I got dressed. Another two minutes used for making up my face and performance.
I came out from my room and went down stair to the living room. I saw Cody was sitting on a couch and reading an old magazine.
“It’s an out dated magazine,” I told him.
He looked up to me. “It’s still good to read,” he said. He then smiled as he saw me intently.
“Do I look messed?” I asked him.
He shook his head. “You look good, but I bet that you just woke up,” he guessed. And it was right.
“Let’s go now,” I said, “before my mom interrupts our conversation and then holds you to stay here and talks with you for hours. She still thinks that you’re my boyfriend.”
“You didn’t tell her?” he asked.
“She has enough thoughts. You know, about my dad. She misses him so much,” I told him. “Let’s go, Cody.”
He nodded with a charming smile.
“Mom, I’m leaving!” I yelled.
“Okay, honey. Have fun with Cody!” she yelled back.
Her words made the atmosphere between Cody and I became awkward.
“I told you,” I smiled wryly to him. “Let’s go.”
I walked out of my house with Cody and we jumped into his red old Ford car. He drove it fast to a place somewhere near the mountain.
He took me to a tall building called apartment. The seventeenth floor, room 707 was our destination. It belonged to a half-aged man who was a broker. He had many connection and from him I could find some suitable jobs for my mom. He gave me the data of the jobs, the companies’ addresses, the requirements needed to apply and other things. We didn’t spend our time too long there in that apartment. One of the reason was that he smoked. I always hated smokers. Cody knew about it. He asked him not to smoke while I was around the man. But still I could smell the ambience of deathly smokes.
We went out from the apartment. We didn’t go to the parking lot but we walked along the streets side by side. We chatted about many things and the plans I would do for Mom.
“It always feels great to be around you, Cass,” Cody told me.
I smiled to him. “You feel so?” I asked.
He nodded. “What about you?” he asked back.
“I feel the same, but I think we can’t make it again together,” I said. I put a direct barrier in our conversation, preventing him to ask me to get back together in a relationship as we used to have.
He stopped walking. I did too.
“Being alone is precious,” I uttered. “I can go anywhere I want without burdening anybody, I can choose foods and clothes I want without asking anybody’s opinion, I can find the real me.”
He put his arm on my shoulder. “I stand by you,” he convinced me. “Just call me anytime if you need me.”
I smiled while I was looking down but then up again to show him I was smiling. Actually I did really want to be with him. He was so kind and cared about me so much but it was just, I couldn’t. I said to him last year when we broke up that I wanted to stay focus on my dream, my study and my family. I was so bad in managing my time when I was with him that I got really bad score in German. I wasted my time too much for having fun. Then it was the time to make it right.
“I feel hungry,” he said. “Would you spend a little time again with me?”
“Sure,” I said. “It’s not funny to lift you if you faint suddenly because of starving.” He and I chuckled.
Not far from the place where we were standing, there was a little cafe and we went in. We ordered some food and spent a little more time together there. It felt like the past. You know, the time when we were together.
When it was eight, he dropped me by my house and went home.
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