Joan of Heaven (The Journey) - Monday, 4 November 2013

Jam 11.47 PM. Malem yah. Habis ini mau tidur ah. Cuma mau cerita dulu.

***

Love story. Itu yang kebanyakan orang suka. Well, aku nggak memungkiri kalau aku juga suka, tapi nggak semaniak itu sih. Hehe.

Kemarin aku ngerasa tiba-tiba kepingin cari profile my ex-crush waktu di sekolah. Aku ketik namanya randomly dan tadaaa ternyata muncul. Dia sekarang udah jadi anggota aparat. Haha. Dan jujur aku nggak suka. Maaf ya, bukan menyinggung. Memang nggak suka aja sih. Lebih suka musician gitu. Kan itu darahku. Hehe. Aku bersyukur sama Tuhan waktu itu aku nggak berlama-lama suka sama dia. Karena sebenernya ceritanya aneh banget kenapa aku bisa suka sama orang itu. Cuman waktu persekutuan di sekolah, waktu disuruh berkelompok pasangan, dia pilih aku. Haha. Itu sebenernya karakteristikku. Suka sama seseorang kalau dia yang suka duluan atau dateng ke aku duluan. Yah, itu dia.

Move from the whole things about love, aku baru aja punya temen baru. Kali ini bener-bener temen yang keren banget. Tinggal di US, seumuran sama aku dan sangat amat baik sekali. Haha. Apalagi dia anak Tuhan yang taat. Asik banget deh. Berasa kalau aku bakalan ketemu sama dia suatu kali. Hope so. Aku ngerasa dia itu kayak best friend-ku banget. Dari Tumblr. Dan wow deh. Tuhan baik. Sangat baik.

***

Udah kelewat jam 12 malem. Sekarang saatnya tidur.. Buhbye. God bless everyone.

It's All Because Of German! (Chapter 6)

Claps were thundering the hall. I got down from the chair and stood. Dad came up to the stage and stopped besides me.

I took the microphone from the stand and held it. I stepped forward a little bit closer to the audience.

“Sorry, I really couldn’t hold my tears from falling,” I started talking. Chuckles vaguely heard. “This song was actually picked by Cody, but apparently I like it. I love the song. It reminds me to my life. My heavy life. Oh, judges, could you please give me a few minutes to talk?”

I saw them nodded.

“Thank you,” I told them. I felt my hands were trembling but I tried to be strong. “Yeah, though my life is heavy, I know that God has His way for me. His way is always wonderful. Once, I had a great family. But in one day, my dad left us. It’s been for years I haven’t met him again. I missed him so much. I’ve been praying, for my dad to come back. Here, I met him again. I thank God for this.” I smiled and actually was relieved as I could say it smoothly. “Oh, I forget to tell you my name. It’s Cassidy Marie Lance.”

I smiled again and turned to my dad. “And the host, as you know is Tim Lance,” I approached him, “my dad.”

I saw his tears were falling. He ran to me and hugged me tight. Cody took the microphone from my hand and let me have a comfortable reunion with my dad.

“I know it’s you, girl,” he sobbed. “I missed you too.”

“So why didn’t you come back?”

“That is my fault, darling,” he said, still sobbing. “I was a coward.”

I patted his back while I myself was crying.

“The reason why I am here is actually coming for you,” he managed his breath and tried to stop sobbing. “But I didn’t know you join this competition. And you have such a wonderful voice.”

I smiled. “This is because of God,” I wiped my tears and then I pulled myself away from him. “You have to continue this. There are still two more contestants. While you manage yourself, I’ll give the closing speech of my performance to everyone here.”

I took back the microphone from Cody and stepped forward facing the judges and the audiences.

“With all respect let me tell you I’m sorry. This is not a scenario but this is reality,” I chuckled a little and everyone else did too. “Now my dad should continue his job to lead this competition, so Cody and I should leave this stage for the two last contestants. Well, thank you for being patient waiting for this sort of dramatic moment.” I chuckled again and I finished my speech.

I put the microphone back to the stand. Cody and I were off from the stage and dad stepped forward. He continued leading the competition.

Cody and I didn’t sit in the seats we were in, but we headed toward my mom, Mr. and Mrs. Houghton. I sat next to mom and Cody his parents.

Mom couldn’t say anything but embraced me. I felt her joy when I felt the beat of her heart. I could say that that was such an amazing moment. Yes, I did believe God had such wonderful ways. What I did realize at the moment was that God cared for us. He never left us. I was so grateful to God.

All the contestants had performed. We waited for like half an hour for the announcement of the winner. There would be three contestants out of fifteen to be chosen as the winners both group or individual.

Dad looked better. He did look even more cheerful than he had been. He came up to the stage again and held three sealed envelopes in his hand.

“Here we are, folks. The announcement of the winners!” he shouted and joyful noise followed. When the noise became low, he started again. “We have three unique contestants here. You see here the envelopes are sealed tight.” He raised those envelopes in the air. “Now let me open these one by one.”

I knew everybody here was anxious waiting for their names to be mentioned as the winners. Well, actually I didn’t really care of it since my family reunion was more important. To win or not, it’s all God’s grace which decided. However, for Cody it did matter, so I prayed to God for this.

“On the third place is,” he read the first opening envelope, “Jonathan Helsinki!”

Everyone clapped. The one named Jonathan came to the stage.

Dad continued. “The second place is Melody of Heaven!” he said after reading the second envelope.

A bunch of boys and girls my age came to the stage while they looked like were talking about their winning proudly.

“This is the last yet the first,” Dad held the last envelope. He slowly opened the envelope. There was something in his face. He frowned as he read whose name written there.

I didn’t know whether it was such a good sign or not for Cody and I, but I just hoped that everything would turn out to be alright.

Cody suddenly moved closer to me and sat next to me.

“I would never give up though we couldn’t win this time,” he said.

“This one has a little bit weird name, but offense,” dad said hesitatingly. “It is MTBT, Meant To Be Together. Well, this is a group of two whose members are—” he stopped for a while, “Cody and Cassidy!”

I couldn’t help screaming cheerfully and I didn’t realize I hugged Cody.

“Sorry,” I pulled myself away from him and hugged my mom.

Then Cody and I walked together to the stage. We stood besides the second winner.

I couldn’t stop smiling. It was both by being the first winner and the name of our group. Meant To Be Together? What was Cody thinking when he created the name? I thought inside my heart.

Some judges came up to the stage and each one of the winners trophies and some amount of money symbolized by a small paper looked like certificate. Then a man which looked like the head of the judges came to Cody and I and gave a weird look. He was smiling but it felt like he couldn’t believe that we became the first winner.

“Congratulations you both,” he shook our hands. “You deserve to get a recording deal for a year.”

“Thank you,” Cody and I said.

“And congratulations for your relationship. I feel such a deep connection between you two,” he smiled and patted Cody’s left shoulder and my right shoulder together.

I didn’t know how to react or respond to his last statement, but I just smiled back at him. I didn’t even dare to look at Cody’d face at that moment. I thought my cheeks was blushing.

 

The competition was over. We were so happy with the result. We decided to have a little feast in the nearest restaurant. Mom and I were in Dad’s car, and Cody with his parents.

We ordered some foods and beverages to celebrate the winning. Actually it also celebrated Dad’s coming back.

During the feast Dad explained to us, without feeling ashamed he admitted his mistakes that he had done. He admitted that he had never stopped thinking about us so that he always tracked wherever Mom and I went and how we were doing. He even asked the Houghtons to be the witnesses for our family’s reunion and for God’s kindness.

I was so proud of Dad that he behaved like a gentleman. He was wrong but he admitted it. I knew and I always had the feeling that he watched over Mom and I. I thanked God for this despite all the bitter past I had experienced without Dad being with us for years. It was weird that I couldn’t hate him but forgave him.

“Cassidy, can we talk outside?” Cody was was sitting next to me whispered into my ear.

I nodded. “Umm, Cody and I will go for a walk out there and we’ll be back again,” I said to my parents and his parents.

They confirmed that we could leave. Therefore Cody and I stood and walked away from the table then headed toward the door.

“Hey, thank you,” Cody told me.

I nodded. “I should thank you too,” I said. “You know, if I didn’t help you, then I wouldn’t meet my Dad and reunite.”

There was silence between us for a while, but it was gone when he broke it by saying, “It’s a beautiful night.”

“Yes, it is,” I agreed. “Anyway, that name.” I remembered.

He chuckled. “Yeah, I know,” he said. “It is weird, isn’t it? I just had no idea what name I should write on the application paper that required a group name.”

“But why Meant To Be Together?” I asked him.

Instead of answering my question, he looked above to the dark sky which only showed some stars because the lights from the restaurant was too bright.

“Cody?” I insisted him.

“I was hoping the name would be more than a mere name but a reality between us,” then he looked at me.

I smiled. “As long as you promised me you will help me getting back my German score to normal or even better good one,” I paused and looked into his blue eyes deeply, “we can be together again.”

His joyful laughter burst out. He embraced me tightly. “Thank you, Cassidy,” he rubbed my back. “I love you, I love you, I love you!”

I chuckled. “Yeah, I love you too,” I said with an overwhelming joy.

It was a really beautiful night. I got my Dad back and my boyfriend as well! He was the first and would be the last. I loved him so much. I couldn’t even stop thanking God for His kindness and grace.

 

I had been spending more time with Cody, not only as a date but also as a tutor in my German study. I studied so hard learning that language. I didn’t know whether I would be able to speak at least a good German or not. I hoped that I would be much better than I had been.

Cody and I had created the experience that we both had as the final exam of German just as instructed by Mrs. Mazak. Then we printed it out and gave it to her on the day when German exam was held.

I put my trust in God for this German task and also for the other exams. I had studied hard and I knew God helped me.

The day of the announcement of the exam result came. It was three in the afternoon. I checked all my scores on the school website. I logged in to my account and saw the scores.

“Aaaaawwww!!!!” I screamed out loud and made Dad and Mom rushing into my room.

“What’s wrong, darling?” Mom asked me.

“Nothing’s wrong, all is good!” I told her and Dad. “See this!” I pointed to the screen of my laptop and then my parents looked into it.

“You got A for your German?” Mom who knew that I had been really bad on German sounded so happy yet she was also shocked.

“Yes!” I nodded happily.

“How come?” she asked.

“Cody taught me German,” I answered.

“So my little Cassy has a private teacher, huh?” Dad gave me a hug and patted my shoulder.

“Sort of,” I chuckled.

Beep beep. My phone rang. I took it from the side of my laptop. It was Cody which congratulated me.

“Who’s that?” asked Dad.

“It’s Cody,”

“Your boyfriend, isn’t he?” he responded my mentioning his name.

I nodded and smiled a little.

“So Mom and Dad,” I said, “he asked me to go out for a formal date this night, and I want to ask for your permission—”

“Have fun with him tonight, little Cassy,” said Dad. “I know he’s a good boy. Your Mom told me the night when we were in the restaurant that he always took care of you. Well actually, his parents told us that it would be good for you to be together. Your Mom and I agreed.”

I smiled and my cheeks were blushing. “Thank you, Dad, Mom,” I said. “I love you.” I stood then stretched my arms and hugged them.

 

Cody told me to dress formally as he instructed. I did what he said. I wear a soft green gown. By seven Cody came picking me up. He was covered in tuxedo which made me look so charming. Saying goodby to my parents, he took me to a restaurant downtown and ordered a place there.

He prepared a wonderful dinner. I really loved it. Our place was nearby the pond which had candles floating on the surface of the water shaping love.

After we finished our dinner he held out something from his pocket. It was a little box. He opened it and took a ring from it.

“So you propose me?” I asked him.

“You can say that,” he said. “It’s a cheap one. I will buy you better after I work.”

“But it is still beautiful,” I smiled.

“I am graduated this year,” he said.

I listened to him. Cody was two years older than I. I remembered that that’s the reason why it was really confusing for everyone in my German class who knew that he was an intelligent senior but he joined the class again.

“I will work and will propose you formally,” he continued. “But for now, I want this ring be a sign for you and I to keep waiting for the right time coming. I love you from the very bottom of my heart.”

“I will be patient waiting for you, Cody,” I assured him. “I love you too from the very bottom of my heart.”

 

He stood by my side and put the ring on my right ring finger. We committed ourselves that night and prayed to God together for the relationship to be led until the day of our marriage.

It's All Because Of German! (Chapter 5)

Two days after the incident in Cody’s mini studio, he phoned me. He said that he was elected as one of many nominees of the competition. I was so glad hearing it. He also told me to sing again as he would have a performance in front of the judges as the further selection on Friday.

From Monday to Thursday, he kept coming over my house to teach me German after we went back from campus. My brain was filled with the German grammars, new vocabularies and even slangs. It was only four days, and I became like an advanced learner. I couldn’t be happier about it.

Mom was coming into my room. It was four thirty in the afternoon. I was preparing myself before Cody picked me up at five.

“Which one do you think best, Mom?” I asked her who was standing besides me by looking at her through the mirror.

“This one,” she pointed at a soft green long-sleeved blouse. “It made you look bright.”

“Thanks, Mom,” I put the other blouse I was holding onto the bed and took off the hanger from the green one Mom just chose. I took off the shirt I was wearing and put on the green blouse.

Mom smiled. “Where will you have your performance?” she asked.

“At the Colorado Convention Center,” I answered while I was putting on some make-ups on my face.

Mom took a comb and combed my hair. “What do you want to do with your hair?” she asked again.

“To make it simple, just a ponytail,” I responded.

Mom helped me to tie my hair. “Done,” she said as she finished.

“Thank you, Mommy,” I also finished my make-up. I put all the make-up things into a little pocket and cleaned the table besides my standing mirror.

“Cassy,” Mom said.

“Yes?” I turned to her.

“I miss your dad,” she said it. She sounded weak in her tone.

“Me too,” I approached and held her hands. “But let’s only pray to God. He will have His way for us. And His way is perfect for us.” I remembered the song again which encouraged me so much.

Beep beep! It was my cell phone. “It must be Cody,” I grabbed my cell phone and read a message which was from Cody. “Mom, he’s down there.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Mom said.

I grabbed my little bag which only contained my cell phone and my wallet, the new one of course. Then we walked down the stairs to the front door. Cody was there standing and waiting.

“Hey, Cody, take care of my daughter well,” Mom told him and he nodded then she turned her sight to me. “You, girl, be a good girfriend of his.”

I gave her a wry smile as I heard she mentioned me as Cody’s girlfriend again. “Okay,” I sounded like whispered.

“I promise you, Mrs. Lance, that she will be safe,” Cody said.

Mom chuckled. “Hope I can be called as Mrs. Lance again,” there was a bitter pain heard in her statement.

“You will. Soon,” he sounded very convincing.

“Amen to that,” she smiled. “Go now. Don’t be late.” She urged us.

“Bye, Mom!” I waved at her while Cody and I hopped into his car.

 

Cody and I entered one of the biggest convention halls in Colorado. It was really big. The last time I came here was when my rich friend in high school had her birthday. Still, it amazed me with how big the size was and how beautiful the interior design was.

We headed toward one of the halls, Wells Fargo Theatre. There were so many people gathered but only half of the theatre’s seats were occupied. It was because the nominees were limited. Most of them were having their musical instruments besides them. They looked so expert. We walked passing some participants and sat at the third row which were not too full.

Fifteen minutes after we had our comfort seats, the lights shining on the seats grew dim. Then the spotlight coming from behind shoot the stage. Somebody shown there. It was the host. And he was.. he was someone I knew.

“Cody,” I touched his arm.

“Yeah?” he turned to me.

“Welcome to the Selection of Cover Song Competition 2013,” the host declared.

“The host,”

“Yeah? What happened with the host?”

“He’s my dad,” I told him through the noise of the musics as the background while he, the host, my dad, was talking.

“Your dad?” he sounded surprised as I felt at the moment. “It is good then.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know if I can continue this,” I told him.

“But why? We can’t go back,” he told me. “Please don’t.”

I turned my face to him. “I am trembling now. And I don’t know why,” my hands felt so cold and trembling a bit. “I don’t know if I can go on.”

“Cassidy,” he looked into my eyes and held my hands. “This is a good sign. You have to be there to show him that you are here. This is your chance. Use it.”

I thought about what he said. It was right. I could use this chance to show my dad that I wanted him to go back into the family again. To me and Mom. It was just, I was too afraid if I could do this.

“Now calm down and relax,” he told me. “We still have long enough time as I got almost the last number. Okay, Cassy?”

I nodded then turned my face into the stage again.

“Please welcome, the first contestant, Darian Moseley,” I was watching at my dad, the host who called a guy to come to the stage. There were claps heard as he stood in front of the people.

I paid no attention to the first contestant, second contestant, third, fourth, twelveth, eighteenth and so the other ones. My attention was only to my dad. Why, I missed him, but I was afraid to face him. In my mind, there were questions such as would he recognize me, since it had been ten years after he left, or would I be able to stand there while he was watching at me, or would he wanted even to see my face? I was so afraid to bear unwanted thing to happen.

“Cassy,” Cody woke me up from musing all the time.

“What?” I asked.

“It’s our turn,” his answered made me startled.

“What?”

“Come on, get up and go to the stage now,” he grabbed me hand when I didn’t do what he said and pulled me passing some people on the row and walked to the stage.

I saw him. I was looking at his face. I became closer and closer to him. Cody and I reached the stage and we’re standing in front of the people.

“Hello boy and girl,” my dad greeted.

“Hello,” Cody replied with the microphone given to him.

I only smiled to him hesitatingly. He smiled back to me. Then I knew, he didn’t recognize who I was. I, Cassidy Marie Lance, his daughter.

“Time is yours,” Dad left us on the stage.

I turned to the audience just like Cody did.

“Hello guys and the honorable judges,” he greeted. “It’s an honor for me to be standing here and elected as one of the nominees. Well, as you know that I didn’t make this cover myself, but with a help of a friend of mine. She’s Cass—”

I grabbed the microphone from him. “Well,” I cut him from mentioning my name. He only smiled knowing me doing it, “you must want to know what we did was real. The recording I mean. Sorry for the little sobbing you heard at the end of the song and thank you for still having elected his work. Now, we present you the same song Have Your Way by Britt Nicole. Make yourself comfort and enjoy it.”

Cody and I sat on chairs which were similar to the ones he has. I put the microphone on the stand and made my heart bold. I promised myself I would be tough here to sing this song while my dad listening to me.

Cody played the classic guitar of his. And I sang. I sang with all my heart. All my focus was on God. I prayed through the song I was singing. I hoped that Dad would come back. I hoped God made Dad, Mom and me united. Again. As we used to be.

My eyes glanced to the audience and coincidently saw Mom was sitting on the last row of the seats together with Cody’s parents. My heart was beating fast.

She is here? I talked inside my heart while I was still singing. Dad is here too? So, God, does it mean—

Tears were falling now. “Have..Your..way,” I finished the song.

It's All Because Of German! (Chapter 4)

It was Saturday, and I didn’t have extra class as I usually had, so I stayed at home. Mom was gone with her friends on a sudden meeting, and she would come home by midnight since the meeting was held in the next town. All that I did at home was cleaning the house. You know, it’s good to practice being a mother. Doing all that cleaning stuffs. But not cooking. I didn’t feel like cooking at the moment, though actually I could do it.

As I finished cleaning the house, I opened my German book. I studied hard to understand how the grammar of German was like. I looked up my dictionary as well when it came to a really confusing lesson. There was thesaurus in the dict. Well, I loved this book. Mom suggested me to buy it and yeah, she was right for choosing this dict.

Beep beep. My cell phone’s ringtone heard. But it wasn’t a call ringtone but short message.

----

Do you have free time today, Cass?

Cody.

----

What did he want to do with me? Would he come over and teach me German? I texted him back and told him that I was free. Then he didn’t text me back.

The sound of my house bell heard. It sounded like a dog barking. Well, when strangers came, they would think that there was a dog inside the house.

I ran down the stair and went to the front room of my house. I almost tumbled but I held on the wall and got straight.

“Yes?” I opened the door and saw the one who just texted me. “Cody? How could you be here so fast?”

“Because I was already here when I texted you,” he told me.

“And you’re coming to..” I hung my utterance.

“Visit you,” he filled the blank in my utterance just like in the exams.

“Visit me? Why?”

“Cass, I’ve been standing here for about ten minutes and the sun has burned my skin, so,”

“Oh,” I giggled. “I’m sorry. Come in.” I opened the door wider and gave him a space to walk in.

He wore a red jumper and blue denim that made him look bright. His blod hair was well-dressed as always. Well, I could see he was using hair gell.

He sat on a couch facing south and I sat across.

“I just want to check you if you might need any help from me,” he answered my unanswered question.

“Need help?” I frowned.

“I’m your partner in German, remember?” he reminded me.

“But, you said that I should go with the flow,”

“That’s why I’m here,” the cheerful tone heard from his mouth.

I shook my head. “I don’t understand,” I said.

He only smiled. “Where’s your mom?” he asked. It was totally not the respond that I wanted for my previous statement.

“She has a meeting with her friends out of town,” I answered.

He nodded.

I remembered something. Though Cody was my ex, and he was a partner of mine in German assignment, and I truly didn’t want to be with him – not because I hated him, but I did love him, just because I wanted to focus on German, but then what happened was the contrary –, he was still a guest. I had to treat him well.

“Wait here. I’ll be right back,” I left him alone in the living rome and flew to the kitchen. I grabbed a glass and poured an apple juice that I made this morning into it – well, it was his luck – then I put it on a tray and went back to the living room. I put the glass together with the tray on the table.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“An apple juice,” I replied.

“Sounds delicious,” then he took the glass and sipped it. “Who made it?”

“I did,” I replied.

“Cool. You’ll be a great mother,” he said, and he sipped again. Then he put the glass back on the table. “Cassy,”

I turned my sight to him again after I observed the wall clock and realized that it was only ten in the morning. “Yeah?” I responded.

“I’m doing a favor for you,” he looked deep into my eyes,

“Yeah?”

“so, would you do me a favor too?” he looked deeper into my eyes as if he had been into my eyes.

“And what favor do you need?”

He didn’t answer. He was only looking at me.

“Cody, now you make me scared,” I leaned my back against the couch. “Stop it now.”

He stopped staring at me and burst into laughter. “Sorry,” he said. “It was so funny looking you are scared like that. Sorry.”

I didn’t laugh. I didn’t understand why he did that ‘funny’ thing to me. Yeah, at least he said it was funny.

However, despite his behaving weird at the moment, I could see him just like the way I used to see when I was his girlfriend. He was so gentle, but he was so funny too. He was warm and so caring.

“Cass, Cassy,” he woke me up from musing.

“Okay, so I was thinking what the real reason why you’re visiting me,” I hid the fact that I had been musing about him.

“Well, let me just make it slight,” he said. “I want you to sing for me.”

“Sing for you?” it became weirder than before.

He moved forward but still sitting on the couch. “Here,” he started, “I’m joining a competition. It is a music video competition. I’m doing a cover of a song ‘Have Your Way’ by Britt Nicole, do you know the song?”

I nodded.

“and I know I’m not that good at singing, but you are, so please, help me by singing?”

I was thinking for a while. Cody was doing me a favor in German. He even took the class he should not take. Was there any reason for me to refuse to help him? He had been so good to me.

“So, how could I help you?” I asked.

“You want to help me? Oh, thank you, Cass!” he cried joyfully. His dimples shown. I liked to see them adorned his face.

“Okay, no prob,” I responded with a shrug. “And when will we start?”

He winked his left eye. “I have a mini studio in my house, and we can record your voice there,” he told me.

“A mini studio? You mean like the music instruments, recorder, and the software? Oh that’s really cool!” I burst into joyful noise.

I did love singing. I did love everything about music. I had this from my dad. He was so into it. He was the best singer and pianist in his time. Well, it’s just, I couldn’t share that much about music stuffs with him since he worked in a faraway land.

After Cody sipped the juice till the last drop, I headed toward his house. Of course after I locked the door. I didn’t want anyone that I didn’t know sneak into this lovely house of mine, uh, I mean of my dad’s and took the precious things.

I arrived at Cody’s house. His parents greeted me as I showed up in front of them. They still considered me as his girlfriend too, just like Mom did. Well, not Dad. He didn’t know that much. He only knew once I had boyfriend. I asked why Cody didn’t tell them, and he answered that it was because he had no time to tell them the reason why we broke up, so he decided not to tell them. That’s weird. I thought I had a better reason, since Mom was burderned with lots of things.

With the permission of his parents, I came into his room. It was the first time. When I had been his girl, I had never stepped into this room. Well, no. I would never do such dirty thing before there’s a vow declared. I promised God this.

There were two parts in his room. Though it didn’t look like originally parted, but yeah, it still looked quite wide. One part was his bedroom, with the whole boy stuffs hanging on the wall and laid on the bed, wouldn’t tell what they were, and another part was a mini studio.

The studio was nice. The wall was covered with red thick carpet as the sound silencer. It felt so cozy being there. If I had had this in my house, I would have stayed longer at my room and perhaps not going out. Except for campus, of course.

“Since when did you have all this?” I asked. I was still amazed by the room.

“You like it?” he asked me back.

I nodded.

“The day after we broke up,”

I turned my head to him. It was because of the phrase ‘broke up’ which was rather sensitive.

“I started to save money,” he explained. “because I’ve been dreaming of being a successful musician.”

“You didn’t tell me anything about it when we were,” I paused a while before saying the next word, “together.”

He was turning the laptop on which I guessed would be used for the recording. “I wanted to do it, but before I did it, we broke up,” he said without looking at me.

“Yeah,” was the only respond that I could give.

“It’s ready,” he turned to me. “Go to the mic. Make yourself comfort there and put on the headphone.”

I did what he said. I settled myself on a high glossy armless chair, put on the headphones on my head and set the microphone right before my mouth.

He gave me a sheet of paper where there written the lyrics of Have Your Way, in case I didn’t remember the lyrics. He told me to sing after he raised his thumb up.

Through the headphone I heard the melodies of the music he arranged. It’s an acoustic one but it is so beautiful. He raised his thumb and I started singing.

 

Feels like I’ve been here forever

Why can’t You just intervene?

Do You see the tears keep falling

And I’m falling apart at the seams

But You never said the road would be easy

But You said that you would never leave

And You never promised that this life wasn’t hard

But You promised you take care of me

 

So I stop searching for the answers

I’ll stop praying for an escape

And I’ll trust You God with where I am

And believe that You will have Your way

Just have You way...

 

“Just have Your way, yeaaah,” I ended my singing. I didn’t realize that tears streaming down my cheeks at the end of the song.

Cody approached me and he gave me a ply of tissue.

“Sorry, I couldn’t hold it,” I said. “Did I make the recording bad?”

He shook his head. “I love it. It sounds really natural. It comes from your heart,” he convinced me. “I was expecting such thing, and then it happened.”

I smiled and held the wet tissue.

“Thank you, Cassy,” he gently touched my shoulder. “You’re great.”

“It’s me who should tell you thank you,” I wiped the tears which streamed down again.

He moved another chair the same as the one I was on, and sat in front of me. “What’s the matter, Cass?” he asked. “You can tell me anything.”

I nodded. Tears were streaming down again. “Cody,” I wanted to tell him, but then I couldn’t. I was crying. “I miss my dad.”

He didn’t say a word. He caressed my lef shoulder. He tried to comfort me.

I managed my breath. I tried to tell him. “I miss the life that I had when my dad was here. I miss the fun and joy spending my time with him and mom together. I miss seeing them caressing each other,” finally I can say it.

“Cassy,” he called my name gently. “You just sing the song. God has His way. You only need to believe.” He held my hands.

I nodded repeatedly and say to him, “Thank you so much.”

“Any time, Cassy,” he said.

It was the moment when I was so encouraged. I was so upset, because actually the burdens inside my heart were piled up high but I didn’t tell Mom about it. I didn’t dare to. It was hard enough to see her looking at dad’s pictures and sometimes weeping. It felt like Dad wouldn’t come back, but he could do it. It’s just, I didn’t know when. I prayed to God that there would be a way to make him back again to us.

My mind recalled the memory when Dad argued with Mom over a little thing. I didn’t know what it was. Day by day, the argument became bigger and bigger and in one of those days, they fought. It was a really big one. I was watching at them from the upper floor and I couldn’t do anything. I saw Dad left with a big suitcase and never came back ever since. A year later, I heard Dad lived in Detroit and he had a great job. I felt glad for him, but at the same time, sad.

Cody was such a great friend, and would always be. I was so grateful to have him. I thanked God for this.

“Feeling better?” he asked me.

I nodded.

“Now, let me drive you home,” he stood up. “I think you might need a rest.”

I nodded again.

I left his house without his parents knowing it. I didn’t want them to see that I had been crying. Cody drove me home and left me there alone waiting for Mom going back home.

It's All Because Of German! (Chapter 3)

“Jimmy!” I cried when I saw him in front  of his locker.

“Oh, my dear friend, Cassandra,” he smiled nonchalantly. “Having fun last night?”

“Why did you do that?” I went to the point.

“Did what?”

“Hey, you think I don’t know that you arranged all the things?” I felt peeved by him. “I did you a favor and you were the one who should have done the favor back to me. Not Cody.”

He smiled. “I did,” he said and then closed his locker.

“You didn’t,”

“Cody, he’s my favor for you,” he uttered.

I shook my head. “I don’t understand,” I told him.

He walked leaving me behind as if he hadn’t just talked with me, but I ran after him. He didn’t say anything, and I just kept following him walking.

When we were in front of Language class, he stopped. I did too.

“You’ll know what it means,” he said and then left me there. He sat in one of those seats and I stood aside from the door.

I was wondering what kind of favor did he give to me through giving Cody instead of his help that I really needed to get my mom back to work.

I tried to forget it. I headed toward my first class, History, sat in my favorite seat and focused on the lesson. And of course every single lessons following afterward.

 

I came into Mom’s room just to tell her ‘good morning’ before I left for campus. She looked a little bit different today. She didn’t have deep panda eyes caused by crying every night. She put make up on her face. She looked cheerful.

“Why do I catch a glimpse of joy in you? Is there something good, mom?” I asked her when she was dressing in front of the mirror.

She looked at me who was sitting on her bed through the mirror. And she smiled.

“What is it all about, mom?” I frowned. “Don’t make me curious.”

She turned her body from the mirror to me and approached me. I gave a space for her to sit next to me and she smiled.

“What mom? Oh, now you drive me crazy,”

“I got my job back!” she exclaimed.

“How come?” I asked. “The other day you said that you couldn’t stand with your boss who opressed you. And now you want to go back to the enslavement?”

She shook her head. “He caught guilty for doing corruption. Now a new boss has been chosen. He is a close friend of mine. He asked me to go back there and work as I used to,” she explained.

I didn’t respond directly to her explanation. A part of me felt so glad and grateful, but another part felt disappointed. It was because, the time I spent with Cody in the other night was useless. She already got her own job. The job that she always wanted. I always knew it that the sadness she felt was not that she couldn’t support our family’s financial, but she lost her dream job.

“Dear Cassy, what?” she woke me up from musing.

“Well, I was just thinking what should I do to spend half my day without you. Again,” I said.

“Are you sad about that? If you are, I can –”

“No, mom,” I cut her. “I’m so happy. Never been so much happier than now.”

Mom patted my back. “I love you, Cass,” she said.

“I love you too, mom,” I said. “But hurry up. It’s almost seven. You start at 8.30, right?”

She nodded. “I’ll go now, sweetheart. Take care of yourself,” she stood up and grabbed her bag.

“You too, mom!” I exclaimed as she went out of the room.

I remained silent for a while there inside the room, thinking about some random things, but then I got up and prepared for campus.

 

I walked toward the library. My class started at nine. It was still eight, so I thought an hour spending time to read would be a good option to upgrade my knowledge in German. Well, yeah. I tried to keep some from the German book. I promised myself. And God. I know He was always watching over me.

I took a note for some meaning I didn’t understand. The time I got my German class I’d ask for it.

“Cassy,” someone called my name. The name of which nobody ever called me with except mom and Cody. Mom wasn’t here beside me, so it meant Cody was the one.

“Hi, Cody,” I looked up to him who was standing in front of me.

“You recognize me,” he sat on the seat next to me. “How are you?”

“So far, so good,” I answered.

“Your mom?”

I flicked my fingers. “That’s what I want to tell you,” I remembered.

“Really?” he looked intently to me.

I nodded. “You don’t have to help me anymore to find a job for my mom,” I told him.

“Why? Is it because of what I said that night?”

I shook. “No, no,” I uttered. “She already got her job.”

“Oh,” he nodded gently. “Congratulations.”

I smiled. “Thanks,” I said.

“So, umm, we can’t have more time together again,” he said.

I glanced to him.

“I’m kidding,” he laughed wryly. “Okay, I gotta go. I have finished looking for a book I need. See you around.”

“See you,” I said.

And he left.

What did he say? Well, actually I knew, but I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to be together again with him. The last time I was with him, I screwed up. It would never happen anymore. I already promised.

I focused on the German book I was reading again. Okay, at least I tried. Cody’s coming distracted me a bit. But sitll, I needed to be at least understand the language. I would never repeat the failure I got.

 

It was twelve in the afternoon. There was only a lesson left. I hoped that I wouldn’t be drowsy. It was German. I needed to fight for it. It was my chance. The previous exam wasn’t really counted. Thank God for it. The coming one, the mid-term exam in two months later would be counted.

I took the first row seat. I pushed myself hard. This time, I wouldn’t be drowsy. I’d open my eyes really wide and focused on it.

Mrs. Mazak came into the class. I smiled to her and she smiled back to me. Maybe it would be a good sign.

“Make a group of two and I’ll give you the assignment,” she told us in German.

Everybody was choosing a friend to be their partner. I did it too. I wanted to have a good partner to help me in this extra-power-needed lesson.

“Jane, be my partner,” I asked a girl sitting behind me.

“Sorry, Cass. I have been taken,” she answered.

“Okay,” I turned to the other side and asked Limuel. “Please be my partner.”

He shook. “I’m so sorry. I’m Ginnie’s partner,” he grinned. “Sorry.”

I looked around the class. It seemed that everyone had their partners. But I was so unfortunate. I thought I didn’t get any partner. Therefore, I came to Mrs. Mazak. I told her I had no partner, well, with a big effort to speak at least an understandable German speaking.

“There is no way, dear,” she told me. “We have even number in our class.”

I shrugged. “But it is true I have no partner,” I convinced her.

“Is there any of you who hasn’t got partner?”

“I’m sorry, I’m late, Mrs. Mazak,” somebody with a really good German speaking came into the class. “I got a little problem.”

“Cody?” I whispered as I looked that it was him who was approaching us. How could he be in my class?

“Oh, why, we got the answer,” Mrs. Mazak said. “He is your partner.”

I nodded slowly and smiled wryly to her. “Thank you,” I uttered. Then I turned from her and got back to my seat.

My plan wouldn’t work. There was Cody with me. Again. And it was about German. Again. Would I get good score? Or bad? Again?

“Sit next to your partner,” Mrs. Mazak ordered.

Everybody was moving closer to their partners, so that they gave a seat for Cody to sit next to me.

“What has just happened?” Cody asked me as he sat.

I turned my face to him and tried to be looked normal. “She told us to make a group of two. But she hasn’t tell us what to do for the assignment,” I answered.

He nodded.

“Listen,” Mrs. Mazak got our attention. “There will be no exam for German,”

“YEAY!!!!” everybody was shouting rejoicingly.

“Wait! Listen to me first,” she exclaimed. The students gradually became silent again. “There is two months to go to the exam, but I just need you to make a story of anything you experience – I suggest you to make an unforgettable and important one, so cooperate with your partner. It seems like an easy assignment, but remember, I don’t give score only for the group with the good grammar, but also the interesting experience. Use the two months well. This is the end of our class. See you around.”

The ambience of the class turned to a really noisy one. They talked about the assignment. I had no idea what to do. You know, it was because it was Cody who became my partner. In German!

“I had no idea what to make,” I told him, but I didn’t look at him.

“Don’t try to make it, just flow with it,” Cody said. “She said, experience, remember?”

I nodded. Still, didn’t look at him.

“Hey,” he said, “do you mind having me as your partner?”

I startled hearing what he said. I was offensive to him! I turned my body to him and looked at him.

I shook my head. “No, no,” I said. “It’s not like that. I don’t mind at all.”

“But I see the opposite,” he told me. “Be honest. I know what your problem you had last year. It’s German, right? With me, right?”

I looked down. “Sorry,” I took a deep breath. “I just don’t want to make my mom sad by having bad score in German.”

“Actually I’m really good at this, so I can help you,”

“I know it. I heard your excellent German speaking when you came,” I told him.

Still, I felt so upset. It was a really bad sign. I thought guessed that it would be the end of dreaming of getting a good score in German. I knew that I had the weakness. Being with Cody was such a wonderful thing to have, but that was the one that made me screwed my German! Oh!

“I promise you,” he said.

“Promise me what?” I asked.

“That you will never regret being my partner in German class,” he held my hands.

Oh, no. Bad sign. I knew that I still loved him. What should I do?

“I would never ever let you down,” he continued. “I am not who I was. I realize, last year I was such a jerk. I asked you to go out almost every night, and I made you tired when you were in class. It was me who made you have bad score in German. Well, yeah I thank God that you are good in every other lessons, but just, let me fix it. I am responsible for this.”

I looked into his eyes. “I appreciate it, Cody. Thank you,” I said. “But you don’t need to be like this. I know you shouldn’t be in this German class, but you take it again because of me. Though you didn’t come for the first three weeks, thank God, Mrs. Mazak accepted you. Still, Cody, this is also my fault. I couldn’t manage my time.”

“It is my responsibilty, Cass,” he insisted. “Just let me.”

I took a deep breath. “Okay, Cody,” I said, “let’s do it. Whatever it takes, how great the barrier is, I will do my best.”

I committed to myself and Cody to fix my German score. I prayed that it would be alright. Even better. Or the best. Okay. I only wished for it. Just, good score.

It's All Because Of German! (Chapter 2)

I had no class at 12. I remained at the class while the other students were going out. I remembered what Jimmy said. Cody wanted to meet me. I couldn’t really decide if I wanted to meet him or not. He had been my boyfriend. I just broke up with him. Could you feel what I felt? Could you ever wanted to see the one whom you loved and just said good bye to him and then he wanted to see you again?

Oh God, I got a dilemma. What should I do? Oh no, oh no.

“Hey, you’re here,” somebody touched my shoulder.

I looked up and saw there – there was Cody standing in front of me.

“H-hi,” I gave him wry smile.

“I was about going to the back park but I found you here,” he uttered. He then sat on a seat next to me.

I nodded.

“Hey, Cass, why do you act like we have never met before?” he realized that I was feeling uneasy being nearby him.

“Of course, Cody. We just broke up,” I confessed. I turned my face to other direction.

How could he ask me such question?

“Cassandra, I’m sorry,” he said. The tone I heard was not a usual conversation tone, or joke tone, or teasing or whatever. It sounded like sadness.

I turned my face to him. “Hey,” I said. “Are you okay?”

He nodded. “It’s just.. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said.

I smiled. “Cody, it’s fine. I’m okay with my life. I know that my life’s wonderful. No matter with whom will I spend my lifetime,” I said wisely. “So are yours.”

He stroked my hair and smiled from ear to ear. “You’ll always be my girl,” he said.

I chuckled. “Come on. You already have a girlfriend, right? I don’t want to make her jealous when she sees us,” I teased him.

“How could I? I’m not an ordinary boy, you know. It’s not easy to forget a girl like you,” he said.

“So why did you break me up with no reason?” I glanced at him. “I’m kidding.” I couldn’t stay longer seeing him look guilty.

He stroked my hair again. “Cass, I heard about your mom,” he uttered.

“Jimmy?”

He nodded. “You look surprised. I thought it is the reason why you wanted to meet me at the back park,” he frowned.

“Oh, Jimmy,” I put my right palm on my forehead. “He told me that you’re the one who wanted to meet me. But he said in the contrary to you, didn’t he? I should have known about it.” I struck my fist to my palm.

He chuckled. “Cass, I know he doesn’t want to see us separated,” he told me.

“How could you know?”

“He is my best friend as well, remember?”

I nodded.

“By the way, he told me that I should help you. I mean, to find a job for your mom,” Cody changed the topic.

“Jimmy was the one who should help me,” I said. I shook my head. “I did him a favor, and he promised to do the same in return too.”

He chuckled again. “What can I do to help you?” he sounded as if he heard nothing about Jimmy’s annoying behavior. “I’d be glad.”

I shook my head. “Honestly, I have no idea,” I told him.

He remained silent for a while but then he flicked his fingers. “I’ll pick you up at your house this evening, at 5. I will take you to a place where we can find your mom a dream job according her skill,” he told me.

I nodded repeatedly. I knew that he could find a solution for many things. I was so glad that I could have been his girlfriend, though at that moment we became friends again.

I finished another class after that meeting with my ex. Well, honestly I felt up. He could always do that. Then I walked back home and greeted some of my neighbors when they were bathing their children in front of their garden. I didn’t know since when this culture showed up in this complex.

I laid my back on my bed. I felt a little bit tired that day. Wednesday was always the day of rapid and rush hour at the campus.

Usually, mom had not been home yet when she was still doing her previous job, but now she slept inside her room alone. She still looked depressed. I didn’t want to see her like that. I promised myself that I would make her smile broadly again. I closed my eyes and slept.

 

Knock, knock. I heard a sound from my room door. I opened my eyes. I always locked the door. I got up from my bed and walked to it still with glued-eyes.

I opened the door. “Mom?” I frowned.

“Ummm, your boyfriend, Cody,”

I startled. My eyes was opened wide instantly. I remembered I had an appointment with him!

“Mom, tell him I will meet him in five minutes,” I closed the door. But I remembered. “Thank you, Mom. “ I told her when she had not moved from the place she was standing and closed the door again.

I went into the bathroom and took a shower as quick as I could. Not more than three minutes I came out then I got dressed. Another two minutes used for making up my face and performance.

I came out from my room and went down stair to the living room. I saw Cody was sitting on a couch and reading an old magazine.

“It’s an out dated magazine,” I told him.

He looked up to me. “It’s still good to read,” he said. He then smiled as he saw me intently.

“Do I look messed?” I asked him.

He shook his head. “You look good, but I bet that you just woke up,” he guessed. And it was right.

“Let’s go now,” I said, “before my mom interrupts our conversation and then holds you to stay here and talks with you for hours. She still thinks that you’re my boyfriend.”

“You didn’t tell her?” he asked.

“She has enough thoughts. You know, about my dad. She misses him so much,” I told him. “Let’s go, Cody.”

He nodded with a charming smile.

“Mom, I’m leaving!” I yelled.

“Okay, honey. Have fun with Cody!” she yelled back.

Her words made the atmosphere between Cody and I became awkward.

“I told you,” I smiled wryly to him. “Let’s go.”

I walked out of my house with Cody and we jumped into his red old Ford car. He drove it fast to a place somewhere near the mountain.

He took me to a tall building called apartment. The seventeenth floor, room 707 was our destination. It belonged to a half-aged man who was a broker. He had many connection and from him I could find some suitable jobs for my mom. He gave me the data of the jobs, the companies’ addresses, the requirements needed to apply and other things. We didn’t spend our time too long there in that apartment. One of the reason was that he smoked. I always hated smokers. Cody knew about it. He asked him not to smoke while I was around the man. But still I could smell the ambience of deathly smokes.

We went out from the apartment. We didn’t go to the parking lot but we walked along the streets side by side. We chatted about many things and the plans I would do for Mom.

“It always feels great to be around you, Cass,” Cody told me.

I smiled to him. “You feel so?” I asked.

He nodded. “What about you?” he asked back.

 “I feel the same, but I think we can’t make it again together,” I said. I put a direct barrier in our conversation, preventing him to ask me to get back together in a relationship as we used to have.

He stopped walking. I did too.

“Being alone is precious,” I uttered. “I can go anywhere I want without burdening anybody, I can choose foods and clothes I want without asking anybody’s opinion, I can find the real me.”

He put his arm on my shoulder. “I stand by you,” he convinced me. “Just call me anytime if you need me.”

I smiled while I was looking down but then up again to show him I was smiling. Actually I did really want to be with him. He was so kind and cared about me so much but it was just, I couldn’t. I said to him last year when we broke up that I wanted to stay focus on my dream, my study and my family. I was so bad in managing my time when I was with him that I got really bad score in German. I wasted my time too much for having fun. Then it was the time to make it right.

“I feel hungry,” he said. “Would you spend a little time again with me?”

“Sure,” I said. “It’s not funny to lift you if you faint suddenly because of starving.” He and I chuckled.

Not far from the place where we were standing, there was a little cafe and we went in. We ordered some food and spent a little more time together there. It felt like the past. You know, the time when we were together.

When it was eight, he dropped me by my house and went home.

It's All Because of German! (Chapter 1)

“It’s been a long year I have spent my time alone. No friends, no family, no relatives, hmmm, all was suck. I don’t know how I could spend a lonely dark life like this. I don’t know why those people stay away from me. I asked God, why?

I used to have many friends, families, it seemed like everybody knew me. I was more than a celebrity. That Whitney Houston, Jagger, Madonna, Sylvester Stallone, you name it, they were all nothing. I was more than them. I had everything. I could get anything I want without any efforts.

Now, my life is turned over 180 degree. Rich to poor, famous to unknown, stunning to dirty. Why? I couldn’t even figure out who I am now. I am nothing. I’m just nothing.

I recalled the moment I was enjoying the world. I had been a wicked person. I didn’t care of anybody else. I didn’t even turn my eyes to those beggars on the streets who asked for even a cent. I regret what I have done. The whole things.

I wanted to change. I didn’t want to stay like this. I wanted to get up and have my ‘life’ again. I knew it’s not too late. I still had a chance. I’d heard that God gave people a second chance. I might be the one who get it. I mustn’t waste it.

I stood up and cleared my torn shirt from the dirty ashes. I went to a pool and cleaned my face and my body. I started to find for a job such as delivering newspaper, cleaning somebody’s pool or garden, and even sweeping the streets. I did whatever I can do. Though I should do that dirty job with a really low salary, it didn’t matter. At least, I didn’t bring that ‘unemployed’ label in me. You know, sometimes beggar looked better than me.

I knew, for the price that I should pay for the dark past I had made, I had to start from zero. However, I’m grateful to God that I could be somebody again,” Mr. Paul Sylvester ended his story.

I confessed that I was a terrible neighbor who always visited him every time I was down. Well, yeah, it always worked. He made me get better after listening to his story. He was such an amazing father, if he had a family. And I actually considered him as my own dad. I wonder how he could live without a family. Well, yeah. I know. I know he would answer that it’s God, the reason he could stand.

 

I believed that my pain was not as heavy as what had been experienced by Mr. Sylvester.I mean, besides the pain I already had. I only just broke up from my boyfriend and lost my wallet containing a hundred dollar. It was nothing compared to his. I should get up and not weep all the time inside my room. I believe God has a wonderful future for me.

“Cassandra!” Mom yelled for the third time because she didn’t have me in the basement right away after I answered her ‘yes’ to come.

“I’m coming, Mommy!” I answered her loudly as I ran down way to the basement.

I arranged my breath when I stepped into that dirty, stinky basement. Mom didn’t look at me at all. She was just moving things here and there and then she asked me to help her. No sooner said than done.

“I saw you went out from Mr. Sylvester’s house again this afternoon,” said Mom. She wiped an old photo frame full of dust with a napkin. “What’s the problem? Did you get yourself better?”

I nodded.

“I’m sorry, I was too busy with my job. Now I resigned,” her confession made me shocked.

“But why did you resign?” I stopped moving things and moved closer to her.

She remained silent. I looked up to her face, since I was still shorter than her.

“Why?” I repeated.

Tears burst out from her eyes.

I startled. I wonder what happened to her that she looked like feeling a deep pain. Was I a bad girl? Or she had something with Dad? Again? Well, since he moved out of the town and never came back, Mom always felt lonely. Sometimes I saw her talked by herself. Technically yes. But she might be talking to God at that moment. Whatever it was, for sure it was something which would be the least thing I would ever want to know. I didn’t want my Mom to feel sad.

“My boss oppressed me. I couldn’t stand with it anymore. I was treated like a slave. I’m sick of it,” she told me with heavy tears streaming down her cheeks as if I had not been her daughter but a friend.

“Mom,” I rubbed her back with my left hand and touched her shoulder with the right one. “I’m here to give a hand in everything. Always.”

She embraced me. Tightly. It felt like her pain was in me as well when I felt her heartbeat. I let her leaned on me until she felt okay.

 

The day passed. Another morning came. I should go to the campus again. Things would go as usual.

I always went from my house to campus by foot. Well, it was only a kilometer far. It could save my money anyway. I really wanted to buy a car for my mom, though Dad could afford a luxurious one by his prestigious job – only I don’t know what it was – but you know, it’s about pride, – since they were separated but not divorced – mom wanted to buy it by her own money, so that she didn’t have to catch a bus to go to her office again. Well, I meant, if she wanted to get another job. Besides, I wanted Mom to feel proud of me. Dad as well.

“Cassandra!” Jimmy called my name loudly from a distance. It made people around me glanced to me for a while. I just smiled wryly to them.

He came bringing a big headphone and an MP3 Player. “I need your help,” he said.

“I’m afraid I can’t. I want to help my mom to get a job,” I told him. I put my right palm on his shoulder. “You’re  my best friend, but, sorry, bud.”

“Wait,” he prevented me to walk. “How about doing mutual symbiosis?”

I tilted my head; questioning what he meant.

“You help me, and I help you find a job for your mom,” he offered. “You know, my parents have sort of, great connections everywhere.”

I thought for a while. It might be a good offering. I didn’t need to worry about Mom anymore if she had a job. She could feel happy again.

“Deal,” I said. “So what is it?”

He smiled. “I like a girl –”

“Girl?” I interrupted. “Again?”

“You want to get your mom a job or not?” he threatened.

I closed my mouth. I listened to him.

“She is your classmate most of the time, Tanya, the Asian girl. I need you to make her closer to me,” he delivered his desire.

“How?”

“Do whatever I tell you. And this is the first,” he held out a starred envelope. “Give it to her.”

I chuckled as I saw it. “It looks like a five-year old boy’s letter,” I told him. “Honestly.”

He changed his smiling face to a sullen one.

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll give it right away when I meet her, and you will get your desired love, Prince Charming.” I teased him with a naughty face.

He tickled me but I ran away from him.

“Hey, Cody said he wanted to meet you at the back park at 12!” he shouted.

I smiled and lifted a thumb to him then turned. I walked to my first class and would do what Jimmy told me. What a boy. He was about turning to be a man, not a boy anymore. Why did he act like an eighth-grader? Funny.

 

As I sat on my favorite seat – right corner-front, nearby the lecturer; I always liked it, didn’t know why – Tanya passed me by. I stopped her and gave her the envelope without saying anything, though actually she asked me who gave it. I acted nonchalantly. I thought I was a little bit out of my usual behavior.

Joan of Heaven (The Journey) - Sunday, 15 September 2013

11.06 PM. Di kamar, dengerin radio, orang-orang lagi karaokean, suaranya bagus-bagus lagi. Dan keinget udah lamaaaa nggak cerita.

***

Banyak hal terjadi. Yang baik dan juga ngeselin. Tapi selalu belajar mengucap syukur terus.

Kemarin pas habis KKR, aku dapet satu pesan yang wow. Mengena banget. Begitu ketemu langsung dikasi tahu, "Kalau nyari jodoh, hati-hati." Terus lagi, "Jangan cepat jatuh cinta." Aku respon sama anggukan.

Aku jadi mikir. Apa selama ini aku cepet jatuh cinta? Karena aku ngerasa aku justru menahan rasa itu supaya nggak salah orang. Atau mungkin itu wejangan untuk hari-hari ke depan?

Ya memang sih, dengan kejadian-kejadian munculnya para cowok itu yang sebagian karakternya sesuai sama kriteria yang aku ajuin sama Tuhan, aku jadi kayak labil. Tapi bukan labil ekonomi kayak di TV yang nyiarin tentang Vikinisasi itu. Haha. Labilnya itu maksudnya karena aku jadi mikir, apa yang si dia ya, Tuhan? Atau dia? Wah, bener-bener agak bingung sih.

Well, pas ketemu kemarin sama Bapak rohani, oh langsung dikasi jawaban. Hore! Bersyukur banget sama Tuhan. Karena aku dikasi tau lebih lanjut kalau jodohku itu ada di luar negeri. Jadi.... selama aku masih di Indonesia, aku tidak akan melirik siapapun lagi.

Itulah yang bikin aku jadi fokus lebih ke Tuhan. Aku jadi seneng banget rasanya. Jadi ke gereja nggak ada pikiran tentang si dia yang udah punya pacar. Kalau liat facebook atau BB nggak mikir tentang teman yang satu itu lagi yang suka muncul di mimpiku. Wah, pokoknya aku seneng banget deh.

Percaya deh, Tuhan. CaraMu itu keren banget. Haha. Memang sekarang fokus lebih dalam untuk studi yang penting. Udah masuk semester 5 nih. Dan puji Tuhan udah ada bahan untuk dibuat skripsi. Tinggal ngikut Tuhan mau ngasi aku yang mana topik untuk skripsi.

Jalan hidup. Ngomongin tentang itu rasanya dalam gitu ya. Haha. Yang penting dalam menjalani hidup sih ya, ada Tuhan yang diikutin. Nggak mau deh jalan sama kemauan sendiri. Orang nggak bisa lihat masa depanku kayak gimana. Hoho.

***

Udah deh. Aku mau tidur dulu. Once more I thank my God, Jesus Christ for everything.

Joan of Heaven (The Journey) - Sunday, 24 August 2013

2.22 PM. Waah? Di kamar lah.

***

Tergugah untuk buka FB itu orang.

Sudah punya pacar! Yeaaay!! Tuhan sudah tunjukkan kalo bukan dia orangnya. Yes!

Tinggal nih satu orang yang terus ada di mimpiku. Akhir-akhir ini sih muncul. Nggak tau tuh.

Ya sudah lah. Tunggu waktunya Tuhan dan jawaban dari Dia!

Yes yes yes! Aku lega! Hihihi

***

Bye for now!

Joan of Heaven (The Journey) - Sunday, 18 August 2013 Noon

1.54 PM. Baru bangun tidur.
***
Aku inget, aku inget, aku inget!!!
Yang ada di dalam mimpiku itu my old friend. Siapa? Pokoknya temen lamaku itu. Gara-gara liat gambar anjingnya di Facebook, aku jadi inget. Waktu di mimpi, aku itu ngomong ke dia kalo aku suka banget sama anjingnya.. aaaah.. hahah.. baru inget..
***
Okelah. Segitu aja ngobrolnya. Mau baca Alkitab lagi. Tadi capek terus ketiduran. Hehe. Bye.

Joan of Heaven (The Journey) - Sunday, 18 August 2013 Morning

Ini minggu lagi. Jam 11.14 AM.
***
Sekadar info aja. He wasn't there again. And that's fine.
Yang aku mau ceritain itu, tadi malem aku mimpi aneh. Lagi.
Gini. Ada seorang pemuda. Ya, di dalam mimpiku itu dia pacarku. Hehe. Entahlah, rasanya deket banget sama dia. Well you know, we did dating stuffs I don't need to tell.
Aku sempat bangun-bangun beberapa kali, tapi pas balik tidur, mimpinya lanjut lagi. Nggak tau, itu settingnya kayak di pernikahan. Aku sama dia juga pake baju mewah gitu. Cuman yang aku nggak yakin, itu pernikahanku atau kita itu dateng di pernikahan orang lain. Kurang jelas.
Awalnya aja aku ngerasa aku ngerti siapa pacarku, eh tapi agk ke belakang, dia jadi blur. Hahah. Dasar mimpi. Bikin bingung.
Balik lagi lah. Aku serahin ke Tuhan. Hehe..
Anyway, sissy udah ngebet banget deh untuk ketemu pacarnya semenjak Tuhan kasi tau kalo jodoh dia itu orang Inggris. Hoho. Mama juga. Papa sama. Nah, aku nggak tau, apa dia atau aku dulu yang ketemu. Hmmm.. Terserahlah Tuhan.
Tapi kalo ditanya, ya aku juga mau secepetnya ketemu. Bukan apa-apa. Suara-suara itu lho yang bikin bising telinga aja. "Mana pacar kamu?" Huh. Tenang mas dan mbak bro. Tuhan lagi kirim getoh.
Hmmm.. the time is coming.. but I need to focus on God more too.. As I get closer to God, I know he gets closer to me too.
***
Sudah ah. Mau baca Alkitab, istirahat, cuci baju, tidur kalo sempet, makan malem, terus ngapain terserah nanti. Ngeflow. Ahahah.. See ya.

Joan of Heaven (The Journey) - Sunday, 11 August 2013

10.18 AM. Di radio. Habis pulang gereja. Habis makan soto Lamongan. Eh Surabaya. Eh, nggak tau deh. Pokoknya itu.

***

Setelah sebulan penuh nggak ke gereja... Akhirnya hari ini ke gereja. Praise the Lord!

Dari pagi tadi sebenernya aku udah minta sama Tuhan, supaya nggak ada hal yang bisa bikin pikiranku distracted. Bener-bener berdoa.

But, he was not there. Ya, nggak papa. It was better for me so as to make me not distracted.

Tuhan, aku nggak mau ngalamin kebingungan. I'm standing before the fork of the road. I need You to help me choose which one is the right way. Sekali lagi, aku nggak mau salah. Aku percayakan ke Tuhan semuanya. Amen.

***

Anyway, hari ini siarannya sampe sore. Nanti sampe jam 5. Hmm, butuh kekuatan penuh. Tuhan yang aku andalin. Hoho. Amen. :)

Joan of Heaven (The Journey) - Monday, 29 July 2013

Jam 10.55 pm. Habis ngelakuin banyak hal hari ini. Tapi lebih concern ke bikin cerita. Mau menghasilkan karya. Kayak yang papa selalu bilang.

***
Pagi atau dari malam lalu, aku mimpi satu hal yang aneh. Tentang temen SD yang udah lama banget nggak pernah ketemu. Terakhir ketemu cuman waktu naik bus. Sekarang pun udah nggak ada bus lagi.

Aneh. Beneran aneh. Aduh, nggak bisa ngutarain sebenernya. Tapi harus. Supaya inget aku udah pernah ngalamin ini.

Anyway, apa orang yang mau ketemu jodohnya harus ngalamin masa krisis kayak begini ya? Kok aku berasa gimana gitu dengan kejadian-kejadian aneh. Terutama di mimpi juga. Mana nggak pernah aku inget dia. Ketemu aja udah nggak pernah sama sekali.

Oke ceritanya gini.

Aku waktu itu (di mimpi nih), ada di satu tempat yang biasa aku tongkrongin sama temen-temen kalo nungguin bus atau angkot dari sekolah ke rumah. Sebenernya jalan bisa, cuman lima belas menit paling.

Anyway, di mimpi itu keadaannya malem. Aku nggak tau deh kenapa bisa disana. Sebut aja si R ya, dia itu lagi sama temennya yang cowok duduk di situ. Aku nih dateng.

Entah gimana itu selanjutnya, aku rada samar-samar ngingetnya, tapi aku denger temennya ngomong sesuatu ke dia. Tapi nggak tau juga lagi bisikin apa ke dia.

Tiba-tiba si R itu nari breakdance gitu. Waduh, bener-bener jadi bingung. Aku ngeliatin dia aja sampe selesai nari.

Dan ini nih yang aneh ya. Dia habis selesai nari, langsung berlutut di depanku sambil ngalungin satu kalung yang bandulnya hati ke leherku.

Entah kayak kesihir atau gimana, aku tuh diajak nari juga sama dia. Tapi kali ini bukan breakdance. Orang nari yang slow beat aja aku kaku dan aneh, apalagi breakdance.

Ya, ini yang lucu dan nggak bisa ngebayangin. Bener-bener kayak fantasi.

Dia bikin aku ngelingkarin dua tanganku di leher dia,terus tangannya di pinggangku kayak orang kalo dansa di film-film gitu. Terus kita dansa deh. Muter-muter gitu.

Awalnya aku rada kagok kayaknya, trus dia bilang ke aku supaya aku ngikutin dia. Nah, kayak magic gitu aku ngikutin apa yang dia bilang.

Tiba-tiba aja waktu kita dansa, kita tuh udah nggak napak tanah, kita dansa muter-muter (bahkan di kenyataan kayaknya aku ngerasa melayang gitu, LOL). Dan di tempat-tempat yang kami lewatin itu, ada lingkaran-lingkaran kecil kayak bubble gitu. Bukan bentuk bola, cuman sekedar lingkaran aja.

And then aku ngerasa aja kalo aku jadi bisa ngikutin dia dan bahkan bisa dansa dengan baik, dansa ala kerajaan Inggris yang rumit itu lho.

Nggak lama, habis itu, aku bangun sebentar, tapi belum sadar. Tidur lagi deh. Eh, mimpinya masih lanjut, tapi masih di scene yang sama.

Aku masih terbuai sama dansa itu. Aduuuh, jadi ngerasa gimana gitu habis ceritain ini disini.

Dan tada, akhirnya aku bangun pagi dan sadar. Sadar kalo mimpiku itu aneh. Oke deh. Ini tanda apa, atau sekadar bunga tidur (tapi kok aneh? Karena aku nggak baru nonton film tentang dansa atau pasangan kekasih)? Yaa, sudahlah.

Give it all up to God. Cuman itu yang bisa aku lakuin.

***

Masih penasaran sama mimpinya. Tapi mau gimana lagi? Mending tidur. Udah jam 11.14 pm sekarang. Bye now.

Joan of Heaven (The Journey) - Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Oh my... Ngantuk banget. 18 belas menit lagi tengah malem. Habis cek beberapa cerpen dari Widbook.com. Banyak banget penulis yang bagus-bagus. Tapi sebelum tidur, tiba-tiba kepingin nulis.

***

Hmmm, udah hampir sebulan aku nggak ke gereja. Jaga studio. Jadinya sih kebaktian di studio. Hahah. Mau gimana lagi? Kan tugas. Setahun juga paling sekali. Yah, mau nggak mau harus dilakuin.

Tapi kadang ngerasa bosen juga. Karena kan cuman duduk di belakang mic sama komputer. Anyway, aku harus tetep ngelakuin dengan sepenuh hati. Kan untuk Tuhan.

Oh iya. Emang 2 minggu terakhir, ujian akhir semester. Jadinya absen cerita deh. Lagian, belum ada sesuatu yang penting untuk diceritain. Walaupun sebenernya, I have sort of feeling missing him. Hehe. Tapi nggak ah. Serahin semuanya ke Tuhan. Jangan melangkah sebelum ada tanda. Ting tung ting tung. #NadaPengumumanInformasiDiMall. LOL.

Jadi keinget, sissy berkali-kali ngomong sambil sedikit nyindir, "Pacarmu mana? Udah umur 21 kok belum punya pacar."

Yaaah, dia aja juga belum. #Gubrak.

Kan namanya juga nunggu. Biarin dia nongol dulu. Aku juga nongol. Siapa dia orangnya, lambat laun aku bakalan tahu. Whoever he is, Tuhan pasti tunjukkin ciri-cirinya. Hohoho.

***

Udah ah. Mau sikat gigi, cuci muka, berdoa (semoga nggak ketiduran lagi. #Gaswat!), terus baru tidur beneran. Udah 11.50 pm nih. Buhbye!!

Joan of Heaven (The Journey) - Tuesday, 9 July 2013 Night

Habis belajar. Jam 9.56 pm. Masih early gitu yah? Hahah. Sebenernya sih habis main instagram. Ahahah, mana ada tuh istilah main instagram? Ya whatever. Tapi habis baca Alkitab dulu dong..

***

Karna penasaran dan supaya lega, tadi siang aku tanya ke dia. Becanda apa nggak sih dia.

Eh, enak aja dia jawabnya ketawa doang. Waaah, dasar. Suka ngerjain anak orang. Awas lu ya, kalo ketemu aku kerjain. Rasakan pembalasanku. Hah.. (Kalo yang ini jangan Tuhan yang bales, soalnya pasti lebih dahsyat. Kasihan nanti dia. Haha)

Hmm, jadi keinget kemarin malem juga pas dikerjain itu. Mama malah godain aku. "Ya kamu milih 'seni musik' apa 'seni tarik'? Yang jelas dong. Berdoa sama Tuhan."

Spontan kujawab aja, "Ya iyalah ma, aku berdoa sungguh-sungguh. Waaah, mama niih.."

Habis itu malemnya aku curhat sama Tuhan. Nggak mau beneran deh sampe salah. There is no way! Pokoknya biar Tuhan tunjukkin bener-bener yang mana. Dan seluruh karakter yang dia punya bukan karakter buruk. Noooo! Sudah cukup aku tahu semua karakter buruk itu. Aku nggak mau.

Makanya deh aku doa. Bayar harga juga. Masih sangat diperlukan itu... Siapa bilang karena anugerah udah dikasi kita nggak usah bayar harga? Hello, Paulus yang bagiin kabar tentang anugrah aja bayar harga secara luar biasa di hidupnya. In his entire life lho!

Eh, malah sampe situ. Akakaka..

***

Udah ah. Mau gabung sama Mama en sissy nonton TV. Sebentar doang. Nggak lama. Nggak film yang bagus. Nuansa ijo semua soalnya. Hmmm. Bye for now.

Joan of Heaven (The Journey) - Tuesday, 9 July 2013 Morning

Jam 08.16 am. Habis kelar ujian Sejarah Kebudayaan Indonesia. Hahah... Thank you God, udah selesaaaai...

***

Kejadian tadi malem kebawa mimpi. Dueeeeng!!! Mana mimpinya aneh bener...

Padahal aku udah wanti-wanti diriku supaya nggak kebawa mimpi. Eh, malah kejadian.

Iya, di mimpi, dia itu malah nyatain perasaan ke aku. Kalo nggak salah malah ngelamar. Waduuuh... Jadi bingung.

Anehnya nih, aku tuh udah bangun beberapa kali semalem, tapi waktu tidur lagi, kok ya bisa nyambung sih? Aneh deh.

Pagi ini waktu buka BB, udah delivered and read by him. Tapi sayang nggak dibales. Huh, jadi tetep nggantung. Nggak tahu beneran apa nggak.

***

Udah ah. Mau lanjut di kampus. Yah, nggak tau mau ngapain aja. Mau persiapan for the next exam at 1 pm! Nunggu deh.

Joan of Heaven (The Journey) - Monday, 8 July 2013 Night

Wah, bener-bener deh. Jam 11.19 pm nih.

***

Malem-malem habis belajar dikejutin sama satu BBM.

Awalnya cuman tanya, "DP-nya udah ganti belum sih?" soalnya kan RIM lg down, BB-ku kena juga.

Eh, ada satu tuh temen sekolah lama, muncul dan jawab. Pertama nyambung, lanjutannya kok kemana-mana.

Dari ngubah syarat calon bini sampe penyiar sombong en nggak mudengan.
Idih, beneran deh. Bikin bingung.

Orang tanya baik-baik juga... :(

Jadi bisa ngerasain waktu Daud tiba-tiba dimusuhin tanpa alasan yang pasti.

Ya ampun Tuhan... Jangan-jangan aku harus belajar untuk jaga perkataan.

Tapi kalo di-review, aku nggak ngomong sesuatu yang offensive kok.

Si dia itu aja yang bikin orang bingung, sedih, galau. Ah tapi nggak. Kutangkis segala perasaan buruk itu. Hyaaat! Go away! I need to focus on my 2 exams tomorrow.

Aku sih udah minta maaf sama dia, tapi sayang nggak delivered. Mungkin baru besok. Semoga all things well deh.

***

Tidur ah. Ngantuk. Baterai tab udah tinggal 11%. Perlu di recharge nih sekarang.

Joan of Heaven (The Journey) - Friday, 5 July 2013 Night

11.11 pm. Baru aja pulang dari Paragon Mall. Puji Tuhan, beli laptop baru. Asus. Hehe.. Tapi nyicil. Anak kuliahan gitu. However, butuh tangan Tuhan banget disini. Mujizat terjadi, mujizat terjadi. Amen amen amen.

***

Nggak tau kenapa sepanjang mau pergi jalan-jalan tuh ngerasa kayak mau ketemu dia. Well, I don't know. Just came out from deep inside me.

Habis keluar dari Matahari (Mama beli tas baru! Omigod! Padahal tasnya udah bejibun!) mau pergi ke restroom. Sebenernya gara-gara Mama mau ganti tas langsung aja. Biar matching gitu sama baju yang dipakai. Mana pink pula! Aduh duh duh.. Si Mama nih..

Tepat di depan ladies restroom, seseorang dengan baju merah (berkerah apa nggak ya? Lupa.) sama alat musiknya, berdiri disana. Sambil benerin alat musiknya gitu.

Yah, tapi gara-gara nih mataku ini penuh mujizat banget, agak blur kalo jaraknya sekitar 2 meter aja, jadinya nggak liat wajahnya. Sekilas aja gitu lewat terus masuk ke toilet.

Tapi entah kenapa aku ngerasa itu dia. Eh, ternyata bener. Mama sama sissy ketawa-ketawa gitu sambil godain aku "Kamu nggak ketemu dia?" Hmmm.. Aku nggak bisa nahan senyum-senyum lebar. Hahah. Tapi aku coba bersikap biasa aja. Walaupun masih senyum-senyum juga. Xixi

Habis itu, waktu keluar dari restroom, pas mau turun ke Hypermart, mama godain lagi, "Mau ketemu nggak?" Aku spontan geleng kepala aja. Hahah. Malah sissy nambahin, "Kalo ketemu dia tuh di Robuchan. Biasa dia manggung sama temennya om disana." Haaah, jangan deh jangan. Nggak usah aneh-aneh. Jangan mendahului Tuhan.

"Kalo jodoh nggak kemana."

Inget kata-kata itu terus. Dan tetep percaya sama Tuhan.

Amen.

***

Udah malem. Besok pagi-pagi siaran di radio. Anyway, sekali lagi makasih banyak ya Tuhan buat berkatMu. Haleluya! :D

Joan of Heaven (The Journey) - Friday, 5 July 2013

Ulalala! I'm back! Terakhir hari Minggu nulis, sekarang aku mau nulis lagi. Habisnya baru hari ini sih ada sesuatu yang menarik. Well, lebih tepatnya kemarin malam.

Duduk di ruang tamu jam 7.33 am. Habis baca Alkitab, dan lagi free of duty. Semoga aja sampai nanti agak siangan gitu deh.

***
Tadi malem agak kepo dan kepingin coba aja, nothing to lose lah, cari nama si dia di FB.

Tap tap tap tap.. Search!

Ketemu. Ada 25 mutual friends.

Jangan-jangan ini, pikirku.

Aku buka deh. Langsung menuju teman yang sama dulu. Eeeeh, ada si om-ku yang jadi temennya main musik. Omigod! Iya ini dia.

Tapi masih belum terlalu yakin. Aku lihat profilnya. Omigod. Iya ini dia.

Kurang sedikit lagi ngerasa yakin. Aku lihat foto-fotonya. Jelas. Iya ini dia.

Waaaaaa, kenapa segitu gampangnya cari dia? Dan namanya yang ke-Jepang-jepang-an itu beneran. Nggak di-alay-alay-in. Whoaaa siapa dia?

Kemarin malem gara-gara udah hampir midnight, aku mutusin tidur aja biar bisa bangun pagi penyembahan dulu sama Tuhan. (Ya, habis nonton TV sebentar nunggu film horor katanya bagus tapi ternyata cuman semacam aligator gitu, ya nggak tertarik. Langsung tidur aja )

Eh, paginya tetep aja belum bisa bangun lebih pagi. Jam enam baru bangun terus doa. Habis itu mikir mau buka tablet untuk baca Alkitab, eh malah tertarik untuk lihat dia lagi. Mau lebih jelas. Soalnya kemarin malam pakai BB kekecilan.

Nah, di notes dan wall dia aku nemuin hal yang lucu-lucu tapi menarik. Yah, dia orang yang lucu tapi intelek. Bahasa Inggrisnya bagus banget (seenggaknya itu yang kulihat), dan mungkin juga bahasa Jepang (beberapa komen dia dalam bahasa Jepang yang sederhana jadi aku ngerti artinya juga, hehe).

Tapi yang paling menarik itu ya, dia punya prinsip yang sama kayak aku. Once for eternity. Ini suh bahasaku, dia punya bahsa lain. Tapi maknanya sama. The first and the last, itu dia.

Tuhaaaan.... Kenapa segampang ini tahu tentang dia? Oh oh oh.  I give it all back to You, dear God and Father. Nggak mau sampai salah orang. Nggak mau. Cukup demger dari orang lain aja kalau salah pacaran dan patah hati itu nggak enak. Lagipula itu bakalan mempengaruhi rohaniku.

***

Segini dulu deh. Mama udah nyuruh aku masak nasi.

•• To be continued ••

Every Twin Has A Special Soulmate! (Chapter 4 - Final)

Aku berpikir dalam hati. Mungkinkah Chris jatuh cinta pada Corry? kalau iya, kasihan dia, karena Corry sudah punya Thomas. Aku tidak bisa membayangkan bagaimana jadinya nanti kalau dia patah hati.

"Kalian memang kembar," katanya, "tapi selama seminggu penuh ini aku menemukan suatu perbedaan yang mencolok. Bahkan ketika kalian memakai baju yang sama seperti dua hari lalu."

Aku dan Corry mendengarkan dengan seksama untuk mengetahui arah pembicaraannya.

"Seorang pria selalu berjalan di sebelah kanan karena dia harus melindungi," lanjutnya,

Ya, kurasa dia ingin mengungkapkan perasaannya. Kasihan Chris.

"Karena itu, wanita selalu berada di sebelah kiri,"

Tuhan, semoga dia akan baik-baik saja, pikirku dalam hati. Aku akan mencoba menghiburnya setelah kepergian Corry.

"Dan kalian tidak pernah berada di posisi yang berbeda ketika kalian sedang bersama. Selalu sama," katanya. Ia menatap saudara kembarku. "Corry, aku mau kau menjadi saksi."

"Saksi?" Corry bertanya.

Aku menjadi bingung ke arah mana pembicaraan ini jadinya.

"Saksi bahwa aku tidak akan pernah beranjak dari sisi kanan dari wanita ini," katanya. "Carry, yang selalu berada di posisi kiri. Jadi saat kau pergi, aku akan menggantikan posisimu di sebelah kanan dan menjaganya."

Chris menyatakan perasaannya? Padaku? Di depan saudara kembarku? Yang menjadi saksi? Dan, selama ini aku selalu berada di sebelah kiri Corry? kenapa aku baru menyadarinya? Dia bahkan mengetahui apa yang tidak kuketahui.

Corry tertawa. "Dengan senang hati aku memberikanmu posisiku," ia berkata senang.

Chris berdiri menghadap ke arahku. Ia memegang kedua tanganku. "Carry, entah kenapa pertama kali melihatmu aku bisa merasakan perasaan ini. Aneh, aku tahu," katanya. "Tapi inilah yang memang kurasakan. Pagi hari saat pertama kali aku datang ke rumahmu, itulah saat pertama aku yakin kaulah wanita itu. Semakin lama semakin ingin rasanya aku ada bersamamu."
Aku tersenyum lebar. Hatiku benar-benar berbunga-berbunga. Suasana yang dingin di dalam ruanganpun menjadi panas rasanya.

"Bolehkah aku menjadi seseorang yang berada di sisi sebelah kananmu setiap waktu?" ia berlutut di hadapanku sambil mengeluarkan sebuah kotak putih kecil sementara tangannya yang lain masih memegang tanganku.

Melihatnya melakukan aksi ini, aku melihat ke sekelilingku dan orang-orang yang lewat mulai berfokus pada kami.

"Secepat ini?" tanyaku. "Apa kau berpikir untuk membawa keluargaku kesini setelah Corry kembali ke rumah?"

Chris tersenyum. "Itu bisa diatur," katanya. "Terimalah ini. Tanganku rasanya mulai pegal."

Aku dan Corry tertawa.

"Kau ini tidak romantis. Dasar," celetuk Corry.

"Tapi percayalah, ini dari dasar hatiku yang terdalam khusus untuk Carry," katanya. "Dan juga masa depanku."

"Chris, berdiri," kataku, dan ia melakukannya. "Berdiri di sebelah kananku," aku menarik badannya, "menghadap Corry." Dia melakukannya.

"Lalu?" Chris menoleh padaku.

"Corry, dia sudah berjanji seperti yang tadi dia sudah katakan," kataku. "Katakan pada Papa dan Mama bahwa aku akan mengatakan suatu kejutan pada mereka seminggu lagi, bahwa anak kembarnya yang lain juga sudah menemukan pasangan hidupnya."

"Jadi kau menerimaku sebagai kekasihmu? Maksudku," dia mengkoreksi, "pasangan hidupmu? Benar begitu?"

Aku mengangguk. "Ya, inilah jawaban doaku pada Tuhan," kataku. "Orang yang bisa membedakan aku dan Corry, dialah yang akan menjadi pasangan hidupku. Karena tidak akan lucu kalau kau salah memanggil Corry dengan sebutan 'sayang'. Aku pasti akan marah dan kecewa."

Chris tersenyum. "Aku juga tau kalau kau tersenyum arahnya pasti ke kanan, sementara Corry normal-normal saja seperti kebanyakan orang," katanya.

"Aku begitu? Aku bahkan tidak menyadarinya," aku mencoba tersenyum dan membuktikan perkataannya benar. Aku tersenyum ke arah kanan.

Corry berdehem. Aku dan Chris menoleh padanya. "Aku harus pergi sekarang," ia menyela. "Berbahagialah. Kalau waktunya tiba, kabari aku segera. Dan jangan lupa kau yang harus membayar tiket pesawat dan akomodasi keluarga termasuk Thomas."

Aku tertawa kecil. "Itu masih agak lama," kataku. "Sudah sana pergilah. Kau harus masuk karena sudah hampir jam sembilan." Corry memelukku lagi kemudian masuk ke ruang tunggu.

Aku dan Chris pergi setelah pesawat Corry lepas landas.

"Bagaimana rasanya tinggal di rumah itu?" Chris bertanya saat kami hampir sampai di rumah yang kusewa itu.

"Aku merasa nyaman," jawabku. "Bahkan aku tidak membuktikan adanya hantu atau apapun itu seperti yang digosipkan."

"Sebenarnya rumah itu ada rumah pemberian papaku sebelum ia meninggal," katanya. "Hadiah ulang tahunku."

"Oh, maaf," kataku. "Tapi benarkah begitu? Rumahmu? Sesuatu yang cukup kucu dan aneh bahwa rupanya itu rumahmu."

"Ya, dan aku tadinya menyewakannya untuk mendapat tambahan uang," lanjutnya, "tapi karena yang menyewa adalah calon pendamping hidupku, tidak akan adabbiaya sewa yang dikenakan kecuali satu."

"Apa?"

"Kau harus membuatkanku makanan setiap kali aku mengunjungimu setelah pulang kerja,"

"Kau ini," aku tertawa kecil. "Itu hal yang mudah. Aku akan membuatkan berbagai macam makanan yang sangat enak untukmu."

Tiga tahun kami berpacaran. Aku semakin mengenalnya dengan baik. Dia, Christopher Orlando, sudah dan akan lebih lagi menjadi pendamping yang sangat baik. Aku tahu, semua hal ini adalah rencana Tuhan. Aku mungkin merasakan kekecewaan di awal ketika aku berpikir bahwa Thomas adalah pria yang tepat, tapi ketika aku melihat dengan kacamataNya, aku tahu Dia punya rencana yang jauh lebih indah.

Tanggal 4 Juli 2013, semua orang terdekat menjadi saksi atas dua pasangan yang dipersatukan dalam ikatan pernikahan. Itulah impian kedua saudara kembar ini. Mulai hari ini aku dan Corry menjalani hidup baru kami sebagai seorang istri dan juga ibu yang berbahagia.

"Terima kasih, Tuhan, untuk segalanya. Amin," aku membuka mata dan menyelesaikan doaku di pagi hari dan menjadi seseorang yang memiliki peran baru.